Many seniors consider planning for their long term care to be akin to planning for their final days. Wouldn’t any one of us push back on such a task or deny that it will ever be needed? The problem is we are emotional human beings that often ignore facts and statistics, even to our own detriment.
Let’s consider the act of planning for our children’s college by starting a savings account, yet we know not all children go to college. Why do we have homeowners insurance, and yet most of us don’t know anyone who actually had their house burn down. And when was the last time you actually used an umbrella, but you probably own at least a couple, just to be prepared. Planning is something we do naturally, but not when it comes to our later years.
We know Baby Boomers are turning 65 at a rate of 8,000 – 10,000 per day. (Pew Research)
According to AARP, on average, 52% of people who turn 65 will develop a severe disability that will require long term care at some point. The average duration of need, over a lifetime, is about two years. (March 2017 report)
We know Medicare does not pay for long-term care.
We know in 2015 the U.S. General Accounting Office estimated the median savings for households age 65-74 to be just $148,000.
We know that the average annual cost of a skilled nursing home stay is $91,250. (2016 study by Genworth)
Last but not least, in 2015 the GAO found 52% of all U.S. households age 55 & older have NO retirement savings.
While you may be the lucky one who is right when you say “It will never happen to me,” the odds are definitely not in your favor that you won’t need some long term care assistance. Just stop and think about how many family and friends you have who are much older than you or living longer than they ever thought they would. So the real question you need to consider is – what to do next? Putting your head in the sand is not a planning process recommended by anyone I know. And though you may be chuckling at that image, all too many seniors are doing just that.
Determining when you may want to consider moving to a senior living community is a very complicated decision process. Many people wait for a crisis to occur before considering such a move; while others plan and move before something happens.
Planning requires that you look ‘realistically’ into the crystal ball.
Try to imagine your life in 5 to 10 years from now. Looking in the crystal ball, you need to think about a scenario when you may not drive anymore or if your health starts to change, how will you manage? Try to image what your life will be like a year if you or your spouse passes away or requires care. This may be difficult to for you to do, but it will help you develop your plan. It is important that you are realistic, so you thoroughly think through this process.
Who’s going to change the light bulbs?
We meet people who elect to “stick it out” in their own homes. This then creates a tremendous burden on their family and friends. There is a great deal of loneliness and isolation that occurs and a level of vulnerability of abuse from outsiders. Access to services is limited, plus simple chores like driving to the grocery store or picking up your prescription medication becomes a major challenge. Home maintenance and repairs become major issues and a source of exploitation from unscrupulous vendors.
It is always better to be 5 years to early than 5 minutes to late.
Many senior living communities have medical acceptance criteria to be considered for residency. This is a very important factor to consider. People who wait for a crisis to occur or have progressive medical conditions are frequently denied residency.
If you are a couple, you need to look after each other and protect one another in case one of you requires care. More importantly, you need to make sure the healthy spouse has their future care plan is in place. Unfortunately, many people fail to consider this scenario and the healthy spouse ends up in a dire situation (medically, socially and financially) after the non-healthy spouses passes away.
Senior living communities are not nursing homes.
At the root of the timing question is the misconception that senior living communities are nursing homes and by moving to a retirement community, you will be losing your independence. Senior living communities offer a wide spectrum of services and amenities, including dining, social activities, fitness & wellness programs so residents can keep active and healthy longer.
Am I’m ready to consider a move to a retirement community?
Many (if not all) of the folks that I have helped move to a senior community all told me prior to their move that they are not ready. It is a mantra that I hear in my sleep. “I love where we live, and I don’t see any need to do anything right now.” “We’re just not ready.”
If you speak with these folks today, 99.9% of them will tell you that it was the best decision they ever made, they only wished they would have made it sooner. So, here are intelligent and successful people all saying the same thing… we wish we would have done it sooner.”
When it the right time?
There are different time frames to consider. When do you want to start your research, when do you see yourself narrowing down your choices and when do you want to move? By doing your research early, you may find that the community you are considering has a waiting list or is planning to expand or is under construction.
If you have a long-term plan to move, try to figure out what needs to occur between now and this date in the future to make you ready.
Select, don’t settle.
By selecting a senior living community before your health changes, you can choose the place that fits your needs and lifestyle the best. The longer you wait, the less selection you will have. If you are considering a new community, you can pick your desired location and floorplan, get medically accepted and have time to sell your home.
Let the experts help you.
As senior housing advisors, we can simplify and streamline the process. We help you narrow your choices. We are familiar with all the options in the area and know about future projects as well. We share demographics and overall lifestyles of all the places you are considering making sure it is the right fit for you. We know pricing, availability, financially stability and overall reputation. We help you ever step of the way.
Bottom line… don’t wait for something to occur. Plan for your tomorrows today!
Do you handle your legal affairs without consulting with your attorney? Do you file your own tax returns without consulting with your CPA? Do you handle your financial matters without speaking with your financial advisor? Seeking the advice of an expert is a wise decision. An expert has years of experience in the specific area you are considering and has much more knowledge and resources available to give you the best possible advice.
Selecting and moving to a senior community is a life-changing decision. It involves a financial commitment, lifestyle choice, downsizing adjustment and many emotions. The last thing you would want to do is move somewhere and not be happy or find out the senior community has some financial or operational issues. Yes, you can try it do it on your own, however wouldn’t it be better to seek the advice of someone who truly knows the ins and outs of all the places you are considering?
Be wary of senior housing internet search providers. These companies aggressively advertise on the internet. What you don’t know is that once you call them or fill out their online form, they basically “own you” and will sell your contact information to third parties. You will be bombarded with phone calls and emails. The worst part is that these internet search providers know very little about the senior communities they are recommending. They seldom visit these places and are not current on any issues the senior community could be experiencing. They provide you with a list of places that they have under their contract, which may or may not fit you needs. It is much better to work with a Senior Housing Advisor who is knowledgeable about the local market and all the senior living options.
We know what you don’t know!
As a trusted senior housing advisor, our role is to provide you with the possible advice. We are familiar with all the places in the area and keep current on pricing, availability, significant operational and staffing issues as well as future trends in the market place. We do our best to match your needs and preferences to the best options available. We know that some folks are ready to make the move, but want the peace of mind of knowing they have reached ahead for their future options.
Senior Housing Solutions is locally owned and operated and has over 30 years’ experience in the senior housing industry. Our personalized approach allows us to get to know you and help you every step of the way. Our proven 5 Step process provides you with a comprehensive and objective information to help you with your decision. Best of all, our services are 100% FREE! It’s what we do!
Step 1: We meet with you to get to know you, most of the times, this is done in the comfort of your own home. We discuss your needs and preferences and provide you with a list of assisted living options best fits your needs.
Step 2: We schedule visits with communities of your choice and join you during these community visits to help represent you. We ask questions on topics you may not know to ask and follow up with you to discuss pros/cons of each of your options.
Step 3: We review pricing, level of service plans and residency agreements to make sure you fully understand the fine print at these communities. We review State of Florida Health Care survey reports and negotiate pricing, as appropriate.
Step 4: We provide you with comprehensive and trusted resources to assist you with the move transition and provide you with recommendations of key professionals, as necessary. We also provide you with resources to assist you with your Veteran’s Benefits.
Step 5: After you move in, we will follow up with you to make sure you are happy with your decision. We will discuss any issues with community staff for resolution and communicate with your family, as appropriate.
We are in your corner, every step of the way!
We hear reviews from many of our clients who tells us that could not have done it without our help. Personally, I am not sure how anyone can make this type of decision with our expert advice and why would you want to? Our services are free so why wouldn’t you utilize them? We look forward to speaking with you.
Senior Housing Solutions is locally owned and operated. We have been proudly serving Lee and Collier counties since 2008. Being locally owned and operated, what does this mean to you?
Firsthand knowledge
One of the most important aspects of being locally owned and operated is our firsthand knowledge of all the senior living communities in the area. We make it our passion to get to know each community in the area so we can provide you with expert advice on which community best fits your needs, lifestyle and finances. We stay current on pricing, availability, operational and staffing issues as well as trends in the market place. Yes, you can try to do it on your own, however wouldn’t it better to make one phone call and find the right solution? Being a qualified resource to you is our core mission.
Quality reputation
Our reputation is everything to our business. Since 2008, we have established ourselves in the local community as a qualified and trusted resource. We are not a franchise and are not controlled by any outside influences. We build trust with our clients and from that relationship, we grow our business through referrals. We also partner with other quality businesses in the area and support them in their efforts. In fact, our online Eldercare Directory is a free resource for people looking for reputable businesses that we feel comfortable recommending to you.
We live here
We are residents of SWFL and are familiar with the wonderful lifestyle in our area. We dine at the same restaurants as you and play golf and tennis at similar clubs that you belong. We watch our amazing sunsets and walk on our beautiful sandy beaches. We attend the same cultural events as you and participate in local charities and religious events along with you. Our parents and our friends live in this area too. We understand why you enjoy this lifestyle and want to maintain it.
Personally, I have lived in this area since 1992 and Peggy has lived here since 1974. I am a native Floridian and a graduate of Florida State University. My dad was one of the first men to attend FSU (which was originally a college for women). I have a unique connection with our Florida history and a special appreciation for the Florida nature and ecosystem.
Community-minded
Dear to my heart is our desire to give back to the community. During Hurricane Irma, I personally volunteered with Operation BBQ Relief and served over 126,000 meals to people in need to people in our area and in Keys. We are active in our places of worship and donate either monetarily or with our time to many worthwhile causes in the local area. Being community-minded is who we are. It defines our character and provides a solid foundation with the people we serve.
Advocate for area seniors
As an advocate for local area seniors, I have served on the board of Area Agency on Aging for Southwest Florida, Jewish Family Services, Napes Interagency Council and the Retirement Housing Council for the State of Florida.
We are proud to support the many seniors and their families in the area and look forward to building even stronger ties in the greater community in the future.
In my 30+ years’ experience in senior housing, I have met clients who struggle with having conversations with their loved ones about making the decision to move to a senior living community. There are many emotions involved in these conversations including guilt, fear, sadness and rejection. Unfortunately, these conversations never get any easier and the longer it takes, the harder they become. Hopefully these insights will be helpful to you.
Change is not easy
The common phrase I hear is “We have spoken with dad and he refuses to move.” People who have dementia have a difficult time with change. They become accustomed to their daily routine and surroundings. If you bring up the subject about moving or bring in help, the immediate response will be “No, I don’t need any help.” This is very common with people with dementia. They resist any type of help and they don’t realize the impact that their decision is having on you or your family. Until you realize that your roles have changed in your household, this cycle will continue.
Dementia effects judgement too
Many people think dementia is only about someone’s memory loss. It is important to realize is that dementia can also effect judgement. This is especially difficult if the former decision- maker of the family is not able to make sound decisions anymore. Many spouses who are caregivers find themselves in the situation, where they expect their spouse to make logical decisions and have a hard time recognizing their loved one is not capable of doing so anymore.
Like a hike in the woods
A good analogy to consider is a hiker lost in the woods. The hiker walks endlessly in the circles trying to find the right path out of the woods, however he is unable to find the right way out. It is frustrating, scary and a embarrassing to be lost. Imagine now, you find this hiker and you take him by the hand and lead him down the correct path. Yes, there could be some resistance along the way, however you know you are the doing the right thing. You stay the course and eventually, you and the hiker arrive at a safe place that is familiar. You have saved the day! Discussing the senior housing option is very similar. You need to take the lead and make the decision. Yes, your role as the follower has changed. You now need to take charge and be the leader.
The danger of doing nothing
Yes, you can do nothing and not ‘rock the apple cart,’ however doing nothing is actually doing something. The end result may not be what you expected! Too many times, the caregiver is the one that becomes ill and requires care. By being the caregiver, your immune system is weakening and you are most susceptible to illness or experiencing a severe medical condition or even a fall. If something happens to you, who is going to take care of your spouse? Unfortunately, the person with dementia and the denial to do anything is creating a potentially dangerous situation for you. In addition, senior housing options become more limited and more expensive if you wait until care is needed to force a decision. It is always better to “select rather than settle.” Making a decision in a crisis mode is never a good idea. Being proactive and recognizing that it is important to have a plan for your future health care needs is a much wiser (and less expensive) route to take.
Conversation tactics
Prepare to be open, honest, and non-argumentative when discussing these topics with your loved ones. These conversations need to take place in a quiet and comfortable setting such as your living room or around the kitchen table. Keep in mind that you already know the resistance you will be get. Be prepared. You also need to recognize that you know best in this situation and that even though you would like your loved one’s approval, a decision needs to be make. Maintaining the status quo is no longer an option. One tactic that I’ve found to be useful to tell your loved that a temporary move needs to occur. It can because of a home repair or a pending vacation to go up North. A temporary change is much easier to handle rather than a permanent move. You can also tell your loved one that he needs to do this for you since you are not feeling well and you need some extra help. Keep in mind that even though you would want your spouse’s agreement, you are in charge now and the decision is yours to make. “Honey, we are going to do this and we are going to make the best of it together.”
Seek counsel
Trying to resolve this by yourself is difficult. If what you have been trying isn’t working, it’s time to call in the cavalry. Seeking the help of an independent third party to step in is not a bad idea. Do you have a family member or close friend that can be ‘the heavy?’ You may also want to reach out to your doctor, clergy. attorney and financial advisor. There are support networks such as the Alzheimer’s support network and other caregiver support groups to help you. As senior housing advisors, we can also help. We have year’s of experience helping people through these difficult situations. We do the research for you and have resources available to make this much easier on you.
The new normal
Amazingly, once the decision has been made and you move to your new home at a senior living community, a huge weight is lifted off your shoulders. There are many advantages of living at a senior living community and it won’t take long for your new home to be your new normal. Your loved one, who put up so much resistance will develop his routine in very little time and be thankful you made the decision. Just like the hiker in the woods, you have save the day!
The other day, I received a call from a daughter of a client. She was in tears and shared with me the issues she is dealing with overseeing her dad’s care. As she explained, she is now responsible to oversee her dad’s day to day care while her two brothers are helping financially. Tearfully, she said, “all I want to do is be my dad’s daughter again.” This situation resonated with me because I see so many people afraid of change who are in a state of denial about their future long-term care needs and are unaware of the impact their decisions have on their family. There are many advantages of living at a senior living community. These include:
Access to on-site services and amenities
Senior living communities are designed to help promote one’s independence and provide a care-free lifestyle for their residents. On-site services and amenities typically include dining, housekeeping, transportation, maintenance, security and social activities. Residents enjoy chef-prepared meals without the hassle of shopping, prepping, cooking and cleaning. Say goodbye to TV dinners and dining alone. Many senior communities have a wide spectrum of activities including fitness programs, card playing and lectures and seminars. Well stocked libraries and even happy hours are common. Your days will be as full as you want them. Yes, you can bring your own car, however transportation services to shopping, doctors’ appointments, area excursions and cultural events are available to make your life easier. Remember, you might be able to drive today, but in the future, it may be safer to let someone do it for you. If something stops working in your apartment like your air conditioner or your disposal, all you do is make one phone call and the issue is handled. You don’t even need to stick around for the obnoxious “window of time” waiting for someone to show up. You can go to your aqua aerobics class and when you return, the issue has been resolved. Life is good!
Access to on-site health care
As we age, we might require more assistance. This could be on short term rehab basis or longer term. Yes, you can bring in care in your home, however there is a limit to what can be provided and is expensive and difficult to manage. Imagine living at a senior community and being able to use the on-site physical therapy services or being able to see your doctor right on campus. Yes, the convenience factor is huge, however the ability to have access to these services will help you stay active and independent longer. On-site services may also include assistance with bathing, dressing and ambulation and even medication management. These services are available for you when you need them. Most senior living communities have 24 emergency response systems in case someone fell or not feeling well. Having on-site emergency response can literally save your life! Many senior living communities have visiting doctors including specialists who will see patients right at the community. No more boring waiting rooms for you! Knowing that you have access to these on-site services will help you stay active longer and provide you with the peace of mind that you know if something ever happens, that you have planned ahead.
Peace of mind
Knowing that you are not a burden to your spouse or your family can not be understated. The peace of mind of knowing you have planned ahead and that you are able to live carefree is priceless. Recognizing that something will probably change in your health and that is better to have a plan in place before it does is an important step. There are too many people who live in a state of denial and wait for a crisis to occur before making any plans. This is not a wise move. Researching the right place that fits your needs and lifestyle will take some time and the last thing you want to do is let someone else make this decision for you.
Financial security
It is amazing when you compare what you are paying in your own home versus what is included in a senior living community, you will see what a value the senior living community provides. Your food and household expenses will dramatically be lowered. Knowing you have a predictable monthly fee will help you develop a better financial plan. There are different financial arrangements for senior living communities including rental, buy-in (CCRC) or equity ownership. If you elect to stay at home and bring in care, your financial situation could change drastically because of the expense of home health care. There are other financial assistance programs available if you move to an assisted living facility include Aid and Attendance through the Veteran’s Administration. Unfortunately, Medicare does not pay for assisted living and there are only a few assisted living facilities that will accept Medicaid. Usually, someone needs to be living in assisted living before being able to tap into Medicaid. Again, planning ahead is the key.
Friendships and Fun
Senior living communities provide the opportunity for life-long friendships and never being lonely again. There have been numerous studies done that prove people live longer and healthier when they are around other people. Socialization at senior communities is what makes people always say, “I wish I would have done it sooner.” Knowing that you can participate in as much of or as little of activities provides you with opportunities to meet people and have fun. And, there is a lot of fun being had at these senior living communities. Mostly because, the worry burden is off of your shoulders. Many people also continue their interests outside the community include participating in church activities, volunteering and entertaining with friends. Most importantly, your family now can be your family again and not be 24/7 caregivers.
