by Bruce Rosenblatt | Aug 29, 2017 | Blog
In my 30+ years’ experience in senior housing, I have met clients who struggle with having conversations with their loved ones about making the decision to move to a senior living community. There are many emotions involved in these conversations including guilt, fear, sadness and rejection. Unfortunately, these conversations never get any easier and the longer it takes, the harder they become. Hopefully these insights will be helpful to you.
Change is not easy
The common phrase I hear is “We have spoken with dad and he refuses to move.” People who have dementia have a difficult time with change. They become accustomed to their daily routine and surroundings. If you bring up the subject about moving or bring in help, the immediate response will be “No, I don’t need any help.” This is very common with people with dementia. They resist any type of help and they don’t realize the impact that their decision is having on you or your family. Until you realize that your roles have changed in your household, this cycle will continue.
Dementia effects judgement too
Many people think dementia is only about someone’s memory loss. It is important to realize is that dementia can also effect judgement. This is especially difficult if the former decision- maker of the family is not able to make sound decisions anymore. Many spouses who are caregivers find themselves in the situation, where they expect their spouse to make logical decisions and have a hard time recognizing their loved one is not capable of doing so anymore.
Like a hike in the woods
A good analogy to consider is a hiker lost in the woods. The hiker walks endlessly in the circles trying to find the right path out of the woods, however he is unable to find the right way out. It is frustrating, scary and a embarrassing to be lost. Imagine now, you find this hiker and you take him by the hand and lead him down the correct path. Yes, there could be some resistance along the way, however you know you are the doing the right thing. You stay the course and eventually, you and the hiker arrive at a safe place that is familiar. You have saved the day! Discussing the senior housing option is very similar. You need to take the lead and make the decision. Yes, your role as the follower has changed. You now need to take charge and be the leader.
The danger of doing nothing
Yes, you can do nothing and not ‘rock the apple cart,’ however doing nothing is actually doing something. The end result may not be what you expected! Too many times, the caregiver is the one that becomes ill and requires care. By being the caregiver, your immune system is weakening and you are most susceptible to illness or experiencing a severe medical condition or even a fall. If something happens to you, who is going to take care of your spouse? Unfortunately, the person with dementia and the denial to do anything is creating a potentially dangerous situation for you. In addition, senior housing options become more limited and more expensive if you wait until care is needed to force a decision. It is always better to “select rather than settle.” Making a decision in a crisis mode is never a good idea. Being proactive and recognizing that it is important to have a plan for your future health care needs is a much wiser (and less expensive) route to take.
Conversation tactics
Prepare to be open, honest, and non-argumentative when discussing these topics with your loved ones. These conversations need to take place in a quiet and comfortable setting such as your living room or around the kitchen table. Keep in mind that you already know the resistance you will be get. Be prepared. You also need to recognize that you know best in this situation and that even though you would like your loved one’s approval, a decision needs to be make. Maintaining the status quo is no longer an option. One tactic that I’ve found to be useful to tell your loved that a temporary move needs to occur. It can because of a home repair or a pending vacation to go up North. A temporary change is much easier to handle rather than a permanent move. You can also tell your loved one that he needs to do this for you since you are not feeling well and you need some extra help. Keep in mind that even though you would want your spouse’s agreement, you are in charge now and the decision is yours to make. “Honey, we are going to do this and we are going to make the best of it together.”
Seek counsel
Trying to resolve this by yourself is difficult. If what you have been trying isn’t working, it’s time to call in the cavalry. Seeking the help of an independent third party to step in is not a bad idea. Do you have a family member or close friend that can be ‘the heavy?’ You may also want to reach out to your doctor, clergy. attorney and financial advisor. There are support networks such as the Alzheimer’s support network and other caregiver support groups to help you. As senior housing advisors, we can also help. We have year’s of experience helping people through these difficult situations. We do the research for you and have resources available to make this much easier on you.
The new normal
Amazingly, once the decision has been made and you move to your new home at a senior living community, a huge weight is lifted off your shoulders. There are many advantages of living at a senior living community and it won’t take long for your new home to be your new normal. Your loved one, who put up so much resistance will develop his routine in very little time and be thankful you made the decision. Just like the hiker in the woods, you have save the day!
For more information, please go to: www.seniorhousingsolutions.net
by Bruce Rosenblatt | Jul 20, 2017 | Blog
Assisted Living Researching Tips
Researching an Assisted Living Facility is a difficult and complicated process. The decision to move involves many factors including financial, lifestyle and health care needs and preferences. In addition, the emotional factor can never be understated. Learn more about the top 5 Assisted Living Researching tips.
1). Start the process early.
Finding the right place will take time and it is always better to make a decision when you are not in a crisis mode. Most people would rather not move than go through the ordeal of moving, so it is important to understand that this is process may take some time.
It is also important to recognize that many people have preconceived thoughts about what an assisted living facility is like and feel if they are not living at home, they will be as losing their independence. Amazingly, people actually gain more independence since they are burden with household responsibilities and have access to social activities, dining, transportation and on-site health care services.
2). Utilize the services of an expert.
Attempting to do this alone is not a wise idea. Utilizing the services of a professional who is familiar with all the options in the area and can help streamline the process will not only make the process easier, it will reduce your stress and help you make a better, well-informed decision. Be careful of online internet search providers, which will come up high on your Google searches. These companies advertise free advice, however they rarely know anything about the places they are recommending. Once you fill out their online, be ready to be immediately bombarded with phone calls. In addition, all of your contact information is now their property and they will sell it to third party vendors, like medical alert companies, hearing aid businesses and even cremation companies. More phone calls!
There is a better way. Utilizing a senior housing advisor in your local area, such as Senior Housing Solutions will provide personal, concierge-level referral services for you. We are familiar with all the options in the area and stay current on availability, pricing, staff turnover and health care surveys. Our services are provided at NO COST to our clients and your information is always maintained with the highest level of confidentiality. We are knowledgeable, compassionate and resourceful when you need it the most. Our proven process helps you every step of the way. For more information, go to: www.seniorhousingsolutions.net
3). Know about the different types of assisted living licenses.
Many people do not know that there are different types of assisted living licenses which impacts what and what not an assisted living facility can provide to you. The last thing you want to do is move twice, so it is important to know everything up-front. Licenses vary from state to state. In Florida, there are Standard, Extended Congregate Care (ECC) and Limited Nursing Services (LNS) assisted living licenses. A good resource is the Agency for Health Care Administration for the State of Florida http://ahca.myflorida.com/
4). Understand the terms of the contract.
Reviewing the contract terms is an important step in the overall process of researching an assisted living facility. What services are included and what are extra? Knowing about the additional fees, including charges for levels of care, will help you make a well-informed decision. You might want to consider utilizing your attorney to review the contract so you are familiar with all the terms and conditions.
5). Be realistic about your expectations.
Moving to an assisted living facility will be an adjustment. Your ‘new normal’ will take some time to get used to. Understanding this on the front end will help you. If you are a couple, it is always better to move together so you can make friends and get settled together. If you are single you will have an opportunity to meet many new people and it won’t take long for you to find your niche. Keep in mind that nothing is ever perfect. Be patient and understanding to the staff and you’ll see that most issues can be resolved, however if problems continue, it might be necessary to speak up. If you feel you’ve made the wrong decision, it is better to seek an alternative living arrangement rather than sticking with something that is isn’t the right fit.
For more information, go to: www.seniorhousingsolutions.net
by Bruce Rosenblatt | Jul 10, 2017 | Videos
by Bruce Rosenblatt | May 3, 2017 | Blog
Baby Boomers considering senior living retirement communities
As a Senior Housing advisor, I meet many people considering a move to a senior living community. Interestingly, I’ve noticed a trend. Younger people (baby boomers) are considering a move to senior living retirement community. Since many of these folks are or have had had to deal with aging parents; they want to plan ahead and not be a burden to their spouse, partner or children.
The baby boomers (people born between 1946- 1964) have arrived. The number of Americans ages 65 and older is projected to more than double from 46 million today to over 98 million by 2060, and the 65-and-older age group’s share of the total population will rise to nearly 24 percent from 15 percent.
Living Longer. Men who will turn 65 in 2030 can expect to live six years longer than those who turned 65 in 1970, according to the Urban Institute analysis of Social Security Administration data. The life expectancy for women at age 65 increased by four years over the same time period. “The gender gap in longevity is shrinking, and we are projecting big declines in the share of older women who become widows,” says Richard Johnson, a senior fellow and director of the program on retirement policy at the Urban Institute
Better health. Most people are also enjoying better health during their longer life spans. The proportion of adults age 80 and older reporting fair or poor health fell from 43 percent in 1998 to 34 percent in 2012, according to an Urban Institute analysis of University of Michigan Health and Retirement Study data.
Ethically diverse. The older population is becoming more racially and ethnically diverse. Between 2014 and 2060 the share of the older population that is non-Hispanic white is projected to drop by 24 percentage points, from 78.3 percent to 54.6 percent. The changing racial/ethnic composition of the population under age 18, relative to those ages 65 and older, has created a “diversity gap” between generations.
Working longer. Many baby boomers are working into their older ages than the generation that came before them. The proportion of men between ages 62 and 64 who are working or looking for work increased from 45 percent in 1994 to 56 percent in 2014, according to Bureau of Labor Statistics data. Technology allows people to work remotely from home and connect with people all over the world.
Living alone. According to The Economic Status of the Elderly (NASI Medicare Brief No. 4), “More baby boomers are likely to be living alone in old age compared to their parents, for three reasons. First, more of the baby boomers have never married. Nearly 10 percent of the youngest baby boomers (are forecast never to have married by ages 55 to 64, which is twice the rate of their parents. Second, more of those who did marry will become divorced or widowed by the time they reach ages 55 to 64—25 to 30 percent of them compared to 15 to 20 percent of prior cohorts. Finally, childlessness is on the rise. In 1989, 26 percent of couples aged 25 to 34 had no children, compared to only 12 percent of such couples in 1959. These trends will result in increase in the percent of older Americans living alone, from 21 percent of those age 63 to 72 today, to 24 percent of those 10 years younger, to 37 percent of the early baby boomers.”
Health care demands. Demand for elder care will also be fueled by a steep rise in the number of Americans living with Alzheimer’s disease, which could nearly triple by 2050 to 14 million, from 5 million in 2015. The aging of the baby boom generation could fuel a 75 percent increase in the number of Americans ages 65 and older requiring nursing home care, to about 2.3 million in 2030 from 1.3 million in 2010. It is estimated by the year 2020, nearly 12 million people will need long-term care, and this number is sure to grow with the aging baby boomer population [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][source: Medicare.gov].
Retirement communities of today. The challenge faced by many of existing senior living communities is how do you attract a younger clientele when the current resident population has been living at the community for the last 10 to 15 years and are much older. Activities and dining are geared towards the existing population and not the new customer walking through the door. Change is never easy, however if the senior community can make a paradigm shift in their thinking, they may have a golden opportunity to attract these baby boomers. This new generation of residents want choices and flexibility. They are health conscious and expect a high level of service. Activity programs that end at 4:00 pm are not going to do it for these folks.
The cruise industry made the shift. Senior living communities need to follow. 10-15 years ago, the only people who went on cruises were basically senior citizens. Now, cruises offer ‘experiences” and offer personal services that are catered to the individual. You can get a personal massage or have enjoy a romantic candlelight dinner with your partner. How about a Zumba class or a nature excursion off the boat. Choices. Flexibility. Catered Lifestyle.
Retirement communities of tomorrow. Fortunately, some senior living communities are catching on. Flexible dining options, wine tastings, tai chi classes are being offered at some of the more progressive senior living communities. LBGT retirement communities are starting to emerge.
Recently, news broke that Jimmy Buffet is planning to develop a Margaritaville retirement community in Daytona Beach, Florida for Parrotheads “55 and better” seeking an “active adult community” while wasted away again, the Latitude Margaritaville will open its first branch in Daytona Beach, Florida, with similar communities also in the works. “Inspired by the legendary music and lifestyle of singer, songwriter and best-selling author Jimmy Buffett, your new home in paradise features exciting recreation, unmatched dining and FINtastic nightlife,” the Latitude Margaritaville site says. The $1 billion project, a collaboration between Margaritaville Holdings and Minto Communities, aims to create 7,000 homes in Daytona Beach; since announcing Latitude Margaritaville. The property has reportedly already received over 10,000 registrations.
The age wave is coming ashore. It’s time to put on your baggy shorts. grab your board and catch the wave.
For more information, go to www.seniorhousingsolutions.net
Source: January 2016 – The Population Reference Bureau report, “Aging in the United States,”
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by Bruce Rosenblatt | Apr 27, 2017 | Blog
Senior Housing Researching Tips
Selecting a senior living community is a complicated process. Here are the top 10 senior housing researching tips.
1). Consult with a senior housing advisor. Make your life easier by consulting with an expert who is familiar with all the options in the area and someone who takes the time to understand your wants, needs and desires. Ideally, this advisor should be looking after your best interest and have a fiduciary relationship with you. Understand how the advisor is compensated since some advisors will collect commissions from the senior housing community they recommend to you which may not be in your best interest. This is could be a huge conflict of interest.
2). Determine where you want to live. This might seem basic, but it is amazing how many people research senior housing communities in areas that they know they don’t want to live. Speak with your family and determine geographically where you want to live. Once you have narrowed this down, try to narrow it down even further by zeroing in on specific areas within that geographic zone. This will help you pin-point your research.
3). Determine your time frame. There is a saying we have in this business. “It is better to be 5 years to early than 5 minutes too late.” Many quality senior housing communities have medical acceptance criteria to move in; therefore if you wait too long, you may not get accepted. Think about your time frame and what needs to occur between now and then. Keep in mind that researching various senior housing communities will take some time, so you probably want to start earlier than what you imagine. Some senior housing communities have wait lists, so it might be necessary to get your name on a list before you are able to move in.
4). Review policies and procedures. Understanding the rules of the senior housing community is something that many people fail to do before they move in. Some examples include: Is there a dress code? What is the pet policy? Can you use your extra meals for guests? What are the qualifications of the person who is responding to your apartment in case of an emergency? As a senior housing advisor, this is an area were true expertise helps to ask questions that you may not know to ask. It is always a good idea to get a copy of any agreements you will be expected to sign and have your attorney review these documents.
5). Tour one senior housing community per day. Visiting a senior housing community take a lot of energy. Call ahead and schedule a personal tour of the senior housing community. Where comfortable shoes since you should be prepared to walk some distances during your visit. Take notes and ask questions that you want to ask. Keep in mind that not only do you want to look at apartment floor plans, but more importantly, you want to get a feel of the lifestyle of the community. Can you see yourself living at this senior housing community?
6). Tour the health care facility. One of the main reasons you are considering a move to senior living community is for the peace of mind of on-site health care services, therefore touring the health care facility is a must in your research. When touring the health care center, pay attention to how the residents are being treated by the staff. Take a look at the activity calendar and the menu. Observe if the facility appears clean and fresh. If possible, speak with family members to see if their loved one is receiving quality care. Most states conduct annual inspections. Ask to see the inspections reports for the last couple of years.
7). Sample activities and dining. As part of your research, it is important to sample the lifestyle of the senior housing community you are considering. Take a look at their activity calendar to see if there program that interest you. Maybe there is an exercise class you can join in on. Maybe you are join a bridge group to see if the other residents are similar to you. It is also a good idea to have dinner at the community. You might be offered lunch, however dinner is where you will meet the majority of residents. The more can get a feel of the lifestyle of the community, the better you will be able to determine if this is the right community for you. Your transition will also be much easier since you will already know some people when you move in.
8). Understand the pricing structure. It is important that you fully understand the pricing structure of the senior housing community you are considering. What are the refund provisions? What is extra? Is future care included or do you pay extra for it? What has been the history of rate increases? It is also important to understand how financial stable this senior living community is? The last thing you want to do is move to a place and later find out that this community is having some financial challenges.
9). Look beyond the glossy brochure. You receive a beautiful brochure in the mail and you think you’ve found nirvana. Everyone looks so youthful and happy in the photos. The community is clean and immaculate. Unfortunately, these are paid models in the photos and the community photos are staged. Yes, its a good starting point, however there is much more to your research than the brochure.
10). Make an educated decision. Utilize the resources you have to help you make an educated decision. Consult with a senior housing advisor to gain valuable insight into the senior communities you are considering. Ask questions and find a community that fits your lifestyle. Take your time, but don’t wait too long.
For more information, please visit www.seniorhousingsolutions.net
